Dreading the transition from player to old man...

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By Rick F

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  • 18 Replies
  1. Rick F

    Rick F
    Dedham, MA

    I took the last 2 1/2 years off from golf. I tried to get back into it last year and did a full bag fitting but it just didn't happen. Some of the clubs I got fit for were T150's with Modus 105 stiff and a GT3 with Graphite Design Tour AD DI stiff. Fast forward to this year and again trying to get back into it. Now I think the T150's might be too much club for me. I always said to myself when the day came for T250's or 350's or even graphite that it would be time to retire from the game.

    For the back story, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago along with arthritis and now it's getting worse. I cannot get a good night sleep because of the pain. My wife says I swear in my sleep as I toss and turn all night. It's getting difficult to practice or play back to back days now too. I lost 70# last year which I thought would help but I lost a lot of muscle and I am trying to relearn my swing, sequence and timing. i'm on a completely different plane now.

    I'm currently using the stack system, googling every video for getting club head speed back, flexibility back, golf exercises for 50+, how to hit it further but nothing is working... Never mind stopping time, I can't even slow it down! But to be fair, I've only been at it since March of this year so not a lot of time but the gym and the stack system make the pain worse.

    Winter (2024)/Spring (2025) I worked at a national golf chain and had access to a trackman whenever I worked and this was before the weight loss so my numbers were respectable for my age. 80 mph with a 7 iron and 160 carry. Last fall (2025) was my fitting and my club head speed was down to the low 70's about 72 mph on average. Right now it is at about 75 mph and I can't get it any higher than that.

    I don't know if I should hold off on getting clubs until I figure this out or get fit on a bad day knowing that I can play them when I am not at my best but won't overpower them on a good day either. I can't seem to have two non-consecutive days where some combination feels good both days though. Some days the PX LZ feels good, then it's the Modus 105 or AMT Black or DG 115 or DG 105...

    I have a 2023 T100 7 iron that I built as a range club with a project x lz 6.0 shaft. The days I hit it well remind of the good 'ol days but those are getting few and far between.

    For reference, I was fit for the following: GT3 10* (B4 setting) with GD Tour AD DI No fairway (can't hit them off the ground) GT2 18* hybrid (A1 setting) with GD Tour AD DI GT2 24* hybrid (D4 setting) with GD Tour AD DI T150 5-P with Modus 105 stiff SM10 48*, 54*, 58*

    I've had a pretty good golf life and now it's depressing to be transitioning to the next stage. I was a very competitive golfer and I was ready to walk away but now some of the dad's in my kids sports circle are trying to get me back into it because they know how good I used to be. When I stopped playing 2.5 years ago, I was a 3 and the lowest I have ever been was a +1. I never wanted to be one of those distance cheaters where I hit my 7 iron 175 yards because it has the loft of a 4 iron!

    Thanks for reading my autobiography!

  2. Barry M

    Barry M
    Reno, NV

    Welcome to the club. It's a big club with a lot of members, and it keeps getting bigger.
    When I was younger I was always chasing a single digit handicap, and I was pretty hard on myself. I was always strong physically but my mental side kept getting in the way. Did a lot of dumb (but always legal) things that have left me with a ton of old injuries, and they never go away. They just hide out in your body till a certain age, and then they all come back, with a side dish of arthritis. Now into my 70th year, and every morning it's a competition between those old injuries for which one will dominate the day.
    Best I could get to was a 13 index, and now it bounces around from there up to 17, but it doesn't frustrate me as much anymore (I lied). Some days are good days, and some are bad, and I'm learning to accept that. It's almost a blessing that I never got below a 13. I have friends who were able to get down to low single digits, and as they age I see them getting really upset about not being able to maintain their old game. A few have quit.
    My only input is try to enjoy the game a bit more. And I don't like the label "distance cheaters". It's no different than moving up to shorter tees. They're only trying to make the game more enjoyable.
  3. Don O

    Don O
    Madison, WI

    Well, at 76, I sort of feel your pain. Definitely feel my pain….

    That life thing is going to happen, so try to enjoy the ride. There’s not as many opportunities to get a GIR anymore, but I can still maintain a decent pace of play, moving up a tee box and usually being the first to hit a second shot. A benefit is I get to practice my short game more and easier to practice putting rather than hitting buckets of balls at a range.

    Outside of golf, as we age we need to focus more on our wellbeing. All joints used in golf are essential for walking and other physical actions we took for granted years ago. I’ve found working with a certified TPI instructor to assess my weaknesses and develop an exercise program to get me golf ready has helped more than any of the speed programs out there. Even without losing 20% of body mass (60% of which is typically lean muscle mass) adding in resistance training and slowly increasing muscle mass makes my day to day that much better.

    Yes it sucks for driver head speed to dip under 80, but I’m still doing better than my contemporaries in my morning old men’s leagues. Take good care of your body and don’t worry that you have more hybrids than irons. Freddie Couples doesn’t.
  4. Rick F

    Rick F
    Dedham, MA

    When I left the game I was a 3 index, lowest I've been is a +1. The last 7 holes I played two years ago, I was -3 using only 5 clubs. I won back to back club championships, men's leagues, match play events, won a "professional" event...this is not a flex but it's hard to go from that to anything over an 82 (that's just a guess what I would shoot now).

    I went to Golf Galaxy this morning with the full intent of ordering irons. T150 was meh with PX LZ 6.0, AMT Silver S300, Modus 105 stiff. Then the T250 and that was a quick no based off of sound and feel though the distance was there. Last the T100 with above mentioned shafts. Not much difference in distance with the T150. I was there for about 2 hours. Then I went to the range this afternoon and onto the course from 150 yards and couldn't come anywhere close to the green. These were some of my better shots, I forget which was which but it's difficult to hit it like this consistently.

    I was at the gym last night and there was a flyer for this trainer with an emphasis on golf. It's $75 per session but maybe one to see what he is all about, how qualified he is and what the results might be.

    I work at a golf course for the free practice and eventually (hopefully) free play. I couldn't afford this game otherwise.
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  5. Chuck Zirkle

    Chuck Zirkle
    Mt Pleasant, SC via Rocky Top Tennessee

    Military
    Well hello there youngster and welcome aboard. Do not like to say old man, prefer one with lots of experience and knowledge. Never played at that level, but played a lot of sports in my lifetime and worked hard in my business career and started played golf in 1984. Golf was never a priority with me, but something that I really enjoyed. After retiring from playing 26 years of league and road softball, I figure I would give it a try. Piece of cake, I thought. Wrong. Could hit it long, but not the skilled shots. But played anyhow without instruction. Except putting. Learned from a learned e gentleman who used to beat the likes of Sam Snead and Ben Hogan with his short game as an amateur. Just had fun with my buddies and played some tournaments and won a few flights over the years. My wife using the crystal to hold her flowers. Age is just a number and with it comes a lot of aches and pains. Came back from a trip to Australia a number of years ago and my wife felt I should see my doctor which I did. They ran a EKG on me and I was sent to the emergency room. Cardiologist ran many tests on me for three days. Thought for sure my heart was failing. Come to find out, my heart was strong as a fifty year old, and I was in my late 60's and was referred anther doctor. Respiratory issues. Was told that due my past history, growing up on a working farm in East Tennessee, living in S Carolina and former smoker, breathing had now become an issue. How would this affect my golf game. No more walking. My doctor said if I wanted to continue to enjoy the game, get on a cart and enjoy my retirement and enjoy the game, that is what he is doing. Accepted it and moved on. Damn cigarettes. A few years later, oops, the back. Went in for a minimal procedure. Beware when they say minimal on TV ads. They do not work. Had to have full blown surgery in October 2026, L4/L5/S1 fused, two rods in back. Worked this time. Can walk with no pain, but not good enough to play golf due to respiratory issues. Played at 6 handicap on time now at 19 recovering from back surgery. Hitting ball around 210+. Did not mention 80 this September. Time catches up quickly when you are enjoying life. I welcome these birthdays, means I am still around. Also had prostate Turp procedure in March. Been a crazy year. You still have a lot to look forward to. Lowest round 69, three days after my 68th birthday and four holes in one. I has been a bit weird accepting this age thing, but have set goals. My mom died at "53" of lung cancer (smoking), dad died at "82" (colon cancer) and my mentor (grandfather Fisher) "96" chose ill advised surgery. I play golf when I can and travel around the world enjoying my wonderful lady. Work part time for the #1 golf shoe regional sales rep, just finished tenth year in April. If I make it to 96 and shoot a 96, my life will have been complete. The biggest thing I had to get over was, what used to be. Hope you find your answer, as well. Hakuna Matata.
  6. Chuck Zirkle

    Chuck Zirkle
    Mt Pleasant, SC via Rocky Top Tennessee

    Military
    Forgot to mention, the best move I made. My fitter took those stiff shafts out of my hands and was showing some improvement. Then, had the surgery and had to start all over, a few months of PT, more surgery, more PT, and more adjustment . Still a work in progress, but much easier to hit. Hard to practice in triple digit heat index temperatures a this age, which makes the recovery longer. High hopes!!!!!!!
  7. Rick F

    Rick F
    Dedham, MA

    Titleist, if you want to send me to Manchester Lane for a free full bag fitting i would totally be on board with that! :)
  8. Don O

    Don O
    Madison, WI

    LOL…. Don’t we all.

    It’s a long shot, but stay active here. There are some local to Manchester or TPI that get involved with actually testing prototypes. They also involve amateurs as well as touring pros. The rest of us have no idea how frequently that happens.

    You can check to see if the instructor has any TPI certifications at MyTPI.com. My experience is there is a one-to-one evaluation of just you, there will be a program designed for you, and then you negotiate how many/how often for follow-up. That actually can be important as resolving one area may trigger another issue somewhere else.
  9. J22abe

    J22abe
    Texas

    You can do it!
    I just got home from playing. I hit a drive (with the wind) 335 yards, absolutely bombed it.
    The two "old men" that were playing with me were only about 30 yards behind me!!!
    300 yard drives!
    I played last week with this "old man" who out drove me and was hitting 6 iron when I hit 5!
  10. NorthTXTitleistGuy

    NorthTXTitleistGuy
    Texas

    Military
    I would offer you this, today's clubs are designed way differently than they used to be. Same with the courses; they aren't women's tees they are the forward tees. Get fitted for the clubs that fit you the best for your game. Nothing to do with old man or anything else. If you want to be as competitive as possible, you get the best fit for your game. Stay tough, keep grinding! From a fellow old man! :)
  11. Thomas Y

    Thomas Y
    Wenham, MA

    I had similar concerns after being away for a number of years, for reasons of caring for Mom and then personal health issues. While I was never long, I did have the ability to score on N.E. back tee courses. Think Donald Ross and 6500 ish yds. After a surgery, I lost significant distance (best before stepping away may have been a 260 yd carry onto a par 3, no wind, no elevation change) and can't carry driver 200 yds despite a fitting. I now have R2 (senior flex) shafts in my metals, so at least the ball gets in the air. I am trying to increase swing/ball speed; driver ball speed is a mere 123 mph, best at about 126, as measured by Top Tracer at my preferred local range

    I have rediscovered that short game is still where my scoring exists. The course I have been playing has second to back tees at about 2900 yds, and I hit it far enough (but not consistently well enough) to get near the greens. The golf is fun, which is important, and the friend that has encouraged me (thanks, Brandon!) joins me for 9 holes every couple of weeks when he can. Maybe I will get out for 18 before the end of the year, but the progression has been good. Four times, for 9-holes each time, with a couple of scores that I might better even if I manage to strike the ball more consistently.

    If you enjoyed playing, even if you were better than most at your best, the game hasn't changed. Get out and play, but have fun first!

    Am I playing 'old man' golf? Not exactly, but from age-appropriate tees, I can still get it around somewhat. Never would have expected this!
  12. Glen B

    Glen B
    Kensington, CT

    I’m almost 64, and had a fitting at Manchester Lane in January of this year.
    It was a fantastic experience. I did the full bag fitting.
    I am not a long hitter, 230 carry with driver on my best hits. My lowest handicap was around a 3 probably 7-8 years ago.
    I ended up getting fit for the T350 iron, bent 2* weak. I agree that the T250 do not feel or sound very good.
    This game we play is not an easy one. And the older I get, the better I used to be. You have to figure out if it’s worth playing this game. It takes time, patience, practice, money.
    I play with a guy who is 84, and has always been a very good player. When he plays now, from the senior tees, he betters his age by 8-10 shots every round. Right now he is going through some medical issues that is preventing him from playing. And it’s driving him nuts! This is a guy that, if he isn’t playing, he’s chipping and putting, every day he spends time on his game.
    You need to figure out if that is what you want. You are not alone, being a good player that just isn’t any more.
    But will you still enjoy the game??
    Also, have you tried diet changes for your health issues? I hear Carnivore has shown some fantastic benefits.
    Good luck! ️‍♂️
  13. Randy M

    Randy M

    Hate to tell you this --- but it's all downhill from age 20-25 years old. The worst part is that the rate of decline is not even close to being linear. As you grow older, the rate of decline in your ability increases at an increasing rate until your clubhead speed and carry distances literally fall off a cliff.

    Growing older is what it is --- can't do anything about it other than to stay as healthy and fit as you can. Just be glad for what you have when you have it, adjust your goals as you age, and get the most out of your abilities and capabilities for as long as you can. When you can't really play any more work because of physical limitations, go work on your short game and enjoy the play of others until one day, you wake up and find an angel there to go with you to your new life.
  14. 19hole

    19hole
    Reading, MA

    Stick with the Stack if it doesn't hurt you phsically. It works, but takes some time and you need to stay on the program. As someone that was +4ish in my 50's and now 70, I can relate to the frustration. My big setback in distance came with a heart attack, but I'm slowly getting some of it back.

    Take another look at the T250. I was playing MBs until a few years ago and realized it was time to get some help from the equipment. Played briefly with the T200 and went to the T250 last fall. They look like a blade at address and I find I can work the ball pretty well with them. You can get used to the sound.

    Finding the right shaft is going to be key. I can say that I have transitioned from the Modus 125 in X (also double hard stepped!) to a very light shaft (65 gram MMT Red in R, 1 hard step) and it makes a difference. It also helps with shock/vibration transmission to the body.

    Try not to get to hung up on what the club / shaft is and focus on what you can do with the ball.

    I fully understand looking back at the player you were and comparing it to the player you are now. I do it too. We should take joy from the fact we can still play the game and enjoy it with our friends and family and not focus on scoring as much.

    It is a game, earning a living from it is over (at least for me!) but I have finally realized that a round with the guys telling jokes, sticking the needle in each other and then a adult beverage or three after the round is worth every minute of it.
  15. Mike M

    Mike M
    Marblehead MA

    At 65 I was playing to a 4, averaging 16 quotas in 9 hole matches. At 70 I’m at best a10. Two new knees ;arthritis in my neck and right hip;blown tendon in my wrist/forearm. Last Sunday I made 13 points for 9 holes hitting only 1 green in regulation. I only had 11 putts,so I guess there’s more than one way to get it done

    That round did a lot for my confidence but I miss the days when I could hit 70-75% of greens in regulation. Rick I feel your pain.

    Moral of the story,…….time really is a four letter word!,
  16. Don O

    Don O
    Madison, WI

    I’m 76, never better than high teens and now creeping towards the mid 20’.s.

    I’ve had some episodic injuries but all my joints are original. If I want multiple GIR’s I have to use tees under 5800 yards. My putting has gotten better so I don’t t mind being the D player in a scramble. Just practice my driving the rest of the round. I still primarily walk albeit I now use a motorized push cart. I have gotten TPI evaluations and working on flexibility and muscle toning just doesn’t benefit my game. Makes every day activities off course that much easier. ….For life!

    Getting out and spending time with others make the game more fun than ever. I just changed my expectations. I stopped chasing a handicap as a success measure about 5 years ago.
  17. Dale V

    Dale V
    Surprise AZ

    What a great sport, that we can still play and enjoy it as long as we are physically able. I live in a 55+ community and we have ex baseball players in softball leagues, ex tennis players playing pickle ball, but they all are experiencing decline in their performance. Golfers do too, but as a significantly lesser rate. It’s a great problem to have. I am dreading the day that I can’t play anymore and will be relegated to watching it on TV. Embrace the transition and make the most of your opportunities to play while you can.
  18. Chuck Zirkle

    Chuck Zirkle
    Mt Pleasant, SC via Rocky Top Tennessee

    Military
    Hey, buddy they will probably have to call an Uber on the 18th to get us off the course, if and when our time comes. Or a medivac helicopter. If that is the case, send my ashes back to East Tennessee for a proper spreading with moonshine shots. Hakuna matata..
  19. Don O

    Don O
    Madison, WI

    Got it.
    Jack Lemon in the Legend of Bagger Vance is the image in my mind. Just follow the bright light at the end of the fairway.
    I joined a weekday league where at 76 I’m a youngster. That also makes me one f the longest hitters. But they all will stay as long as they can get to the course.

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